Music's First Romantic - in his own words...

Though Beethoven never married, he was strongly attracted to women who, often because of age or station in life, were beyond his reach. After his death on March 26, 1897 a remarkable letter was found in which he expresses his anguish at not being able to share his life with the woman he loved. The identity of the woman was never established and it is also surmised that the letter was addressed to woman in general. In any case, the matter continues to be a matter for conjecture, scholarly and otherwise - including a 1995 movie entitled "Immortal Beloved" ( VHS / DVD )

To the Immortal Beloved

"My angel, my all, my very self. A few words today, only, and in pencil (your pencil)..... Why this profound sadness where necessity speaks? Can our love exist otherwise than through sacrifice - through demanding less than all - can you help it that you are not wholly mine, and that I am not wholly yours? - Oh, God! gaze into the loveliness of nature and solace your heart with a sense of the inevitable. Love demands everything and love is wholly right, thus it is for me with you, and for you with me - only, you are so prone to forget that I must live for myself and for you as well; were we wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I.... We shall, I fancy, see one another soon, besides, I cannot this morning share with you all that has passed through my mind during the last few days about my life. Were our hearts always close to one another I would have no thoughts of this kind. My heart is full - to tell you so much; ah - there are moments when I feel that speech in itself is nothing after all - be of good cheer - remain my true, my only treasure, my all, as I am yours; the gods must send us the rest, that which must be for us and shall be.

You are suffering, you my dearest creature. Only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning. Mondays - and Thursdays - the only days when the post goes from here to K. - You are suffering. Ah, wherever I am, you are there with me.... I hold converse with myself, and you, I arrange things so that I may live with you, what a life!!!! thus!!! without you - pursued hither and yon by the kindness of humanity, which in my opinion - I deserve and as little care to deserve. The humility of men to men - it pains me - and when I consider myseld in connection with the universe, what am I and what is he - whom one calls the greatest (?) - and yet- herein again the divine is immanent in the human -

I weep when I think that you probably will not have the first news from me until Saturday evening - much as you love me - my love for you is stronger - but do not ever hide your real self from me- Good night - as I am taking baths I must go to sleep.... Oh God - so near! so far! is not our love a truly celestial abode- but also immovable as the firmament!

Even from my bed my thoughts press out to you, my immortal beloved, from time to time joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to learn whether fate will lend ear to us - Life is possible for me either wholly with you or not at all- yes, yes I have resolved to wander far from you until I can fly to your arms and say that there I am truly at home, can send my soul enfolded by you into the realm of spirits. - Yes, unhappily it must be so. - You will be courageous, the more so because you know my fidelity to you, never can another possess my heart, never-never! - O God, why must one part from what one loves; and yet my present life in Vienna is a grievous life- your love makes me at once the happiest and unhappiest of men- at my age I now need a certain uniformity and regularity of life- are these compatible with our relations?

Angel, I have jsut learned that the post goes every day, and so I must close, that you may receive the L. at once. Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we attain our purpose of living together- be calm- love me- today- yesterday- what tearful yearnings for you- you- my life-my all- farewell Oh, keep on loving me- never misjudge the faithful heart of your beloved L. Ever yours-ever mine-ever for one another.